


Carefully Prepared Excuses (The Gather Ye Rosebuds Remix)

by leiascully



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-23
Updated: 2011-04-23
Packaged: 2017-10-18 14:10:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/189695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leiascully/pseuds/leiascully





	Carefully Prepared Excuses (The Gather Ye Rosebuds Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SecondSilk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecondSilk/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Carefully Prepared Excuses](https://archiveofourown.org/works/126960) by [SecondSilk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecondSilk/pseuds/SecondSilk). 



After all these years, Remus can almost see the wheels turning in Sirius' head. Sirius has been dogging him for the past two weeks - Remus forgives himself the pun and smiles privately, catching a questioning look from Sirius - and he's been even more underfoot than usual. He frets, Sirius does, when he's afraid his plans won't come off right. He frets and he fusses and he'd hate it if Remus told him so; Sirius still has his Black pride. _Underfoot?_ he would ask with astonishment. _Underfoot? Say solicitous, Moony, but never underfoot_ , and then the wounded-puppy eyes would come out, and Remus would give in the way he always does.

Remus is just glad that the war has not robbed Sirius of all the boy he once was. They have all aged far beyond their years, or maybe it's only Remus who aches as if he's lived an extra lifetime. After Regulus' death, after the deaths of their friends, after the founding of the Order, after the horrors they've all seen, he is grateful that someone among them is still making schemes that don't involve maps and spells and grimly-set jaws. Although knowing Sirius, there might be a map. X marks the spot, indeed.

For now, at least, there is the party to plan, a celebration of the new year and to fête their surviving this long. There is a desperate undercurrent to every gathering these days, a tremor in each firm handshake and a put-on courage in each "Be seeing you". Remus counts out silverware not really sure how many will attend tonight. He can't even depend on those who checked in this morning. He glances up to catch Sirius in a dreamy mood. For all his love of tousled disorder, Sirius has an organized mind. Remus recognizes the far-off grey gaze: Sirius is making lists as he sorts out the supplies for this evening and fetches wine and cider from the cellar. Remus studies Sirius, reading his thoughts in the elegant curl of Sirius' fingers around the bottles and the sweep of hair across Sirius' brow.

_Item One: It is New Year's.  
Item Two: On New Year's, at midnight, you must kiss someone.  
Item Two A: None of the women who will be at the party are unattached.  
Corollary to Item Two A: Kissing attached women results often in jealousy in the party of the second part and thence hexing.  
Item Three: Sirius will be drunk and therefore excused from any consequences of his behavior.  
Item Four: A close-at-hand Remus is as good a target as any for a midnight kiss.  
Item Four A: Remus is, alas, unlikely to be kissed by anyone else.  
Item Four B: As Remus' good friend, it is Sirius' honorable duty to protect Remus from the embarrassment of remaining unkissed, and the bad luck that comes along with that.  
Item Five: Better to have kissed and pretended not to remember it in the morning in the case of being accused of poor judgment by the object of the kiss than never to have kissed at all. Hahah, isn't it a laugh we all had?_

Sirius' gaze flicks to Remus, who busies himself with a pile of spoons and pretends not to feel the tingle that comes from being subjected to Sirius' formidable powers of concentration. Bottles clink gently together as Sirius saunters past with his crate of perry. Remus watches out of the corner of his eye; Sirius' shoulders are square, his spine straight as he recites his list carefully to himself. Remus can almost hear the whisper.

He has been making lists of his own, these past few years, watching Sirius from behind the camouflage of his scars. He has never hated his scars, never cared about his looks at all really, but now he appreciates them for the aspect of inscrutability they add to his thoughts. The pale slashes act like a mask; no one can see past them. No one tries, anyway, and Remus appreciates that. It is the solitude that makes the list-making possible.

_Item One: Sirius Black is the most enchanting, frustrating, interesting, inane, and contradictory human on the planet.  
Item Two: Sirius Black is more entertained by spontaneity than by fidelity and has thus far been pathologically incapable of sustaining interest in any one person.  
Item Three: Remus wants nothing more in the world than fidelity and constancy and one person to come home to.  
Item Four: These are lean years for constancy, when a home can be cinders by the end of the day.  
Item Five: Having caught Sirius' eye, Remus has two options.  
Item Five A: Option One: Surrender to the intoxication of dizzy, desperate love and risk losing everything to war or the slow suffocation of boredom (for Sirius, only for Sirius - Remus has never been bored since the day they met).  
Item Five B: Option Two: Flee the promise of joy and the promise of pain, the only light in dark times.  
Item Six: A party is a terrible thing to waste.  
Item Seven: "Fun" is a word that rarely appears in Remus' vocabulary. "Fun" is a thing everyone should have.  
Item Eight: It is a ridiculous thing, that he should have been so in love for so long by one of his dearest friends, that he should have this opportunity, that he should think of squandering it.  
Item Nine: This list is entirely too long, and he, Remus Lupin, is a fool.  
Item Ten: A fool in love is the most pathetic thing in the world. For one night, this night, he'll embrace that.  
Item Eleven: That is, if he isn't horribly, terribly mistaken about all of it, and a fool for a whole different set of reasons, which never seems to be out of the question for him, unfortunately, and oh God, now he's babbling on his own list._

The hours slip by. Sirius is never quite out of Remus' sight, hovering and thereby fulfilling Item Four: A Remus must be close-at-hand, after all. The off-duty members of the Order make the headquarters as bright and welcoming as they can; there are candles in every corner and tinsel spangling the furniture. Mistletoe leftover from Christmas decorates the door frames, and a bowl of mulled wine stands waiting to be ladled into cups. Remus samples from it to settle his nerves. One cup, two cups: the warmth of it fills his body, and when he cups a nervous hand to his mouth, his fingertips smell of cinnamon. Guests trickle in, Order members with singed eyebrows or hex-marks. But there are enough of them to fill the rooms, and that's all Remus could ask tonight. He sips another cup of wine, Sirius still hovering nearby, and listens to the cheerful rumble of conversation.

The grand old clock ticks louder as the noise level in the room settles. It is 11:59. Sirius is close enough to reach out and touch him, and Remus can tell that Sirius is almost vibrating with suppressed energy as the whole room choruses the countdown together. Remus turns his face slightly toward Sirius on one, and he isn't at all surprised when Sirius' mouth presses suddenly against his own. In fact, he can't help laughing at the look of startlement on Sirius' face when they break the kiss, as if Sirius expected him to be stunned or disturbed. He can almost see Sirius trying to rewrite his list and failing utterly to come up with even the first idea of where to go from here. Sirius just stares at him, licking his lips, until Remus takes pity on Sirius and kisses him again.

 _Item One:_ Oh. Oh!  
 _Item Two: Yes, this will do nicely.  
Item Three: Lists are better when they're written together._


End file.
